1 00:00:01,274 --> 00:00:04,342 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,410 --> 00:00:07,746 ♪ is violence in movies and sex on TV. ♪ 3 00:00:07,813 --> 00:00:10,882 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:10,950 --> 00:00:13,852 ♪ on which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:17,789 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy. ♪ 6 00:00:17,873 --> 00:00:20,742 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:20,793 --> 00:00:22,327 ♪ all the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:22,395 --> 00:00:23,712 ♪ laugh and cry. ♪ 9 00:00:23,779 --> 00:00:26,481 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:26,549 --> 00:00:30,616 ♪ Family Guy 9x05 ♪ Baby, You Knock Me Out Original Air Date on November 14, 2010 11 00:00:30,653 --> 00:00:34,940 == Sync, corrected by 00:03:10,877 Yeah, it's this cool thing 80 00:03:10,944 --> 00:03:12,662 where girls in bikinis box each other. 81 00:03:12,729 --> 00:03:14,230 We're all going Saturday night! 82 00:03:21,054 --> 00:03:22,655 Man, would you look at that? 83 00:03:22,723 --> 00:03:26,225 Two smokin' hot chicks repeatedly striking each other. 84 00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:27,960 Yeah, it reminds me of Thanksgiving. 85 00:03:28,028 --> 00:03:29,445 Why does it remind you of Thanksgiving? 86 00:03:29,513 --> 00:03:31,347 'Cause this is where I come for Thanksgiving. 87 00:03:31,415 --> 00:03:33,766 Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? 88 00:03:33,834 --> 00:03:35,234 We've reached that part of the evening 89 00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:37,837 when our house champion takes on all challengers. 90 00:03:37,905 --> 00:03:40,840 Any of you lovely ladies like to try your hand in the ring? 91 00:03:40,908 --> 00:03:41,924 Hey, Lois, what do you think? 92 00:03:41,992 --> 00:03:43,459 You want to fight that lady's boobs? 93 00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:45,661 What? No. I'm not fighting anyone. 94 00:03:45,729 --> 00:03:48,147 Oh. Well, good thing I made this plaster mold 95 00:03:48,215 --> 00:03:49,532 of your hand and forearm. 96 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:50,800 Hey, buddy! Over here! 97 00:03:50,868 --> 00:03:53,536 I see a woman's hand and forearm at table eight! 98 00:03:53,604 --> 00:03:55,471 Damn it, Peter! 99 00:03:55,522 --> 00:03:57,190 Please, Lois! Come on, you got to fight her! 100 00:03:57,257 --> 00:03:58,291 - It's gonna be great! - Come on, Lois! 101 00:03:58,358 --> 00:03:59,275 Get in there, take her down! 102 00:03:59,343 --> 00:04:00,359 - Come on! - It'll be awesome! 103 00:04:00,444 --> 00:04:01,494 I'd really like to see that. 104 00:04:01,578 --> 00:04:02,962 All right, all right. 105 00:04:03,030 --> 00:04:05,097 If it'll shut you all up, I'll do it. 106 00:04:09,086 --> 00:04:10,469 All right, so how does this work? 107 00:04:10,537 --> 00:04:11,771 We gonna pretend to hit each other 108 00:04:11,839 --> 00:04:13,840 for a while, then maybe kiss a little? Huh? 109 00:04:13,907 --> 00:04:16,559 I'm terrible. 110 00:04:16,627 --> 00:04:17,927 Hey, watch it. 111 00:04:17,995 --> 00:04:19,228 That was pretty hard. 112 00:04:19,296 --> 00:04:21,247 No, it wasn't. Try this one. 113 00:04:21,331 --> 00:04:23,132 Stop that, young lady. 114 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,251 I'm just out here for fun... 115 00:04:25,335 --> 00:04:27,336 Yeah, punch each other, you whores! 116 00:04:27,404 --> 00:04:30,072 Okay, you little bitch, that's it! 117 00:04:30,140 --> 00:04:31,324 You want to (bleep) with me?! 118 00:04:31,391 --> 00:04:32,391 Let's go! 119 00:04:38,232 --> 00:04:41,167 No matter what you do for the rest of your life, 120 00:04:41,235 --> 00:04:44,770 you'll always be garbage. 121 00:04:46,807 --> 00:04:47,940 Oh, my God! 122 00:04:48,008 --> 00:04:50,092 I didn't know Lois had that in her. 123 00:04:50,143 --> 00:04:51,310 Hey, is that your wife? 124 00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:53,212 You bet that's my wife. 125 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:55,047 Well, I got to say, she's a natural. 126 00:04:55,115 --> 00:04:58,167 You know, she could make some serious money as a professional. 127 00:04:58,235 --> 00:05:00,202 Wow, you... You really think so? 128 00:05:00,270 --> 00:05:01,971 Oh, sure. Women's boxing 129 00:05:02,039 --> 00:05:03,823 is a rapidly growing part of the field. 130 00:05:03,891 --> 00:05:06,492 You should consider your wife competing for a belt. 131 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:08,995 Well, she did look like she knew what she was doin' up there. 132 00:05:09,062 --> 00:05:10,763 Think about it. Here's my card. 133 00:05:13,650 --> 00:05:16,085 What can I say? 134 00:05:16,136 --> 00:05:17,436 I really like watching her box. 135 00:05:17,504 --> 00:05:18,905 That means two things. 136 00:05:25,589 --> 00:05:26,546 Hey, Lois, congrats 137 00:05:26,646 --> 00:05:28,497 on winning that boxing match last night. 138 00:05:28,582 --> 00:05:30,132 I saw your picture in The Daily Growl. 139 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,635 Brian, The Daily Growl is not a real paper. 140 00:05:32,703 --> 00:05:33,869 What? Yeah, it is. 141 00:05:35,155 --> 00:05:37,490 I like that sound. 142 00:05:38,875 --> 00:05:40,509 Mom, since when are you a boxer? 143 00:05:40,577 --> 00:05:41,944 I'm not, honey. 144 00:05:42,012 --> 00:05:44,580 Honestly, I don't know what came over me last night. 145 00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:46,582 It was just one of those crazy things 146 00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:48,584 that sort of happened after a few drinks. 147 00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:49,852 Morning, everyone! 148 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:51,837 Morning, champ! Ya feelin' loose today? 149 00:05:51,888 --> 00:05:53,172 Peter, what are you doing? 150 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:54,573 What is all this? 151 00:05:54,641 --> 00:05:55,841 I'm a fight promoter now. 152 00:05:55,909 --> 00:05:57,376 And I got you another fight. 153 00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:59,595 You're boxing tonight at the Quahog Civic Center. 154 00:05:59,663 --> 00:06:00,996 Are you out of your mind? 155 00:06:01,064 --> 00:06:03,999 No, Peter. That was a one-time thing, all right? 156 00:06:04,067 --> 00:06:06,302 I am not a boxer, and I'm not fighting anyone else. 157 00:06:06,370 --> 00:06:07,503 And that's final. 158 00:06:07,571 --> 00:06:08,938 All right, well, how about this, then? 159 00:06:09,005 --> 00:06:11,741 I'll take you somewhere real fancy and romantic for dinner, 160 00:06:11,808 --> 00:06:13,109 just the two of us. 161 00:06:13,176 --> 00:06:15,277 And in return, I get to try and convince you to fight. 162 00:06:15,345 --> 00:06:17,513 Well, going out for dinner would be nice. 163 00:06:17,581 --> 00:06:19,832 But I'm not changing my mind. 164 00:06:19,883 --> 00:06:22,835 Oh, gosh, I can't wait to see this fancy restaurant. 165 00:06:22,903 --> 00:06:24,820 Oh, you're gonna love it, Lois. 166 00:06:24,888 --> 00:06:27,590 Here, put on these special eating gloves I bought you. 167 00:06:27,657 --> 00:06:30,259 Why do I need to wear gloves to eat in a fancy restaurant? 168 00:06:30,327 --> 00:06:32,461 'Cause it's so fancy that... 169 00:06:32,529 --> 00:06:34,013 You know what? I'm tired of this. 170 00:06:34,064 --> 00:06:35,214 I booked you a boxing match. 171 00:06:35,265 --> 00:06:36,732 Son of a bitch! 172 00:06:36,817 --> 00:06:39,602 Damn it, Peter. I told you, I don't want to be a boxer! 173 00:06:39,669 --> 00:06:41,504 Who the hell do you think you are?! 174 00:06:41,571 --> 00:06:43,105 There you go! Use that anger! 175 00:06:43,173 --> 00:06:44,607 Hey, remember when I said I think it's hot 176 00:06:44,674 --> 00:06:46,142 when you wear a sports bra and gym shorts 177 00:06:46,209 --> 00:06:47,309 underneath your dress? 178 00:06:47,377 --> 00:06:48,411 Yeah? 179 00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:49,528 Now, put these shoes on. 180 00:06:49,579 --> 00:06:50,780 Stop it, you jackass! 181 00:06:50,847 --> 00:06:54,166 I told you, I'm not fighting! 182 00:06:54,234 --> 00:06:56,836 I'm sorry, there's been a terrible mistake. 183 00:06:56,903 --> 00:06:58,170 My idiot husband here booked this match 184 00:06:58,238 --> 00:06:59,338 without my knowledge... 185 00:07:00,841 --> 00:07:01,857 She's from the Ukraine, Lois! 186 00:07:01,925 --> 00:07:03,058 She doesn't speak English! 187 00:07:03,126 --> 00:07:04,427 All right. 188 00:07:06,646 --> 00:07:08,230 She's from the other part of the Ukraine! 189 00:07:08,298 --> 00:07:10,132 It's a different dialect! 190 00:07:12,352 --> 00:07:14,820 One, two, three. 191 00:07:18,508 --> 00:07:20,609 Hey! Whatcha doin' down there, Lois? 192 00:07:21,978 --> 00:07:23,312 Aw, what's the matter? 193 00:07:23,380 --> 00:07:25,548 Mad at little old me? 194 00:07:25,615 --> 00:07:28,384 In your imagination, I've got long eyelashes. 195 00:07:44,784 --> 00:07:47,253 One! Two! Three! 196 00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:49,454 Did you know where the Ukraine was 'cause of my globe? 197 00:07:49,506 --> 00:07:50,956 No, I saw it in a book. 198 00:07:51,024 --> 00:07:53,943 You knew 'cause of my globe, you dick. 199 00:07:54,010 --> 00:07:56,245 Eight! Nine! Ten! 200 00:07:56,313 --> 00:07:57,730 We have a winner! 201 00:07:59,499 --> 00:08:01,033 Well, what do you think of that, Lois? 202 00:08:01,084 --> 00:08:02,284 You still mad at me now? 203 00:08:02,369 --> 00:08:04,119 Peter! I feel great! 204 00:08:04,204 --> 00:08:06,255 I've never felt so in control. 205 00:08:06,339 --> 00:08:07,756 I know the feeling. 206 00:08:07,841 --> 00:08:09,842 It's how I feel when I burp really loud 207 00:08:09,909 --> 00:08:11,243 in an underground parking structure 208 00:08:11,294 --> 00:08:12,811 to assert my dominance. 209 00:08:15,382 --> 00:08:17,349 Says the king. 210 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:23,055 All right, kids, I'm off to train at the gym. 211 00:08:23,123 --> 00:08:25,758 Geez, Lois, you're really taking this seriously, huh? 212 00:08:25,825 --> 00:08:27,593 Well, yeah, Brian, why wouldn't I? 213 00:08:27,661 --> 00:08:29,161 I don't know, you've just never 214 00:08:29,229 --> 00:08:30,563 really been the aggressive type. 215 00:08:30,630 --> 00:08:33,532 I mean, you're usually so measured and collected. 216 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,569 I know, Brian, but when I stepped into that ring... 217 00:08:36,636 --> 00:08:39,171 I don't know. Something happened to me. 218 00:08:39,239 --> 00:08:41,907 It's like I tapped into this primal wellspring 219 00:08:41,975 --> 00:08:44,743 of pent-up anger that just needed to be released. 220 00:08:44,811 --> 00:08:46,845 Really? What do you have to be angry about? 221 00:08:46,913 --> 00:08:50,516 Where are my flapjacks?! 222 00:08:50,584 --> 00:08:51,383 Huh? 223 00:08:51,451 --> 00:08:53,018 You will recall, last night, 224 00:08:53,086 --> 00:08:55,087 ere I drifted off into slumber 225 00:08:55,155 --> 00:08:57,256 with a nudie magazine betwixt my legs, 226 00:08:57,324 --> 00:08:58,691 I spake thusly: 227 00:08:58,758 --> 00:09:01,193 "Lois, tomorrow morning, I want flapjacks." 228 00:09:01,261 --> 00:09:04,496 It was a simple message, yet it has gone unheeded. 229 00:09:06,199 --> 00:09:07,967 All right, Peter, give me a minute. 230 00:09:08,034 --> 00:09:10,436 For every five seconds I do not have flapjacks, 231 00:09:10,503 --> 00:09:13,088 I shall break one window. 232 00:09:13,173 --> 00:09:14,907 Uh-huh. 233 00:09:14,975 --> 00:09:16,342 Look, Lois, it just seems to me 234 00:09:16,409 --> 00:09:18,177 that this isn't necessarily the healthiest thing 235 00:09:18,245 --> 00:09:19,778 for a woman your age to be doing. 236 00:09:21,314 --> 00:09:23,182 Brian, I'm 42, I'm in the prime of my life, 237 00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:24,750 and this is what I want right now. 238 00:09:24,818 --> 00:09:25,884 You're sure about that? 239 00:09:27,220 --> 00:09:28,921 Meg, go make your father some flapjacks. 240 00:09:28,989 --> 00:09:30,556 Okay, Mom. 241 00:09:31,675 --> 00:09:32,875 This is crazy! 242 00:09:32,943 --> 00:09:34,677 Is nobody really making me flapjacks yet? 243 00:09:34,744 --> 00:09:38,013 At this point, you guys are being as irresponsible as I am! 244 00:09:52,879 --> 00:09:58,183 ♪ Gonna fly now. ♪ 245 00:09:58,251 --> 00:10:03,322 ♪ Flying high now. ♪ 246 00:10:03,390 --> 00:10:08,427 ♪ Gonna fly... ♪ 247 00:10:08,495 --> 00:10:13,232 ♪ Fly... Fly! ♪ 248 00:10:19,673 --> 00:10:21,640 Ow! 249 00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:22,908 Well, it's broken, all right. 250 00:10:22,976 --> 00:10:24,159 Well, you got to fix her, Doc. 251 00:10:24,244 --> 00:10:25,344 There's a big fight coming up. 252 00:10:25,412 --> 00:10:26,412 She's got to defend her title. 253 00:10:26,479 --> 00:10:28,914 Look, Peter, I don't think there's gonna be any fight. 254 00:10:28,982 --> 00:10:30,015 What are you talking about? 255 00:10:30,083 --> 00:10:32,318 Look at me. I got a broken nose. 256 00:10:32,385 --> 00:10:35,754 I think this is a sign that maybe it's time to hang up the gloves. 257 00:10:35,822 --> 00:10:37,339 What are you, out of your mind? 258 00:10:37,407 --> 00:10:39,174 Whoa, don't you give me that attitude, Peter. 259 00:10:39,242 --> 00:10:41,810 Look, Lois, we're making a lot of cash with this boxing thing. 260 00:10:41,878 --> 00:10:44,213 And I need money for bourbon and anime. 261 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:46,482 Well, I just can't understand any of this. 262 00:10:46,549 --> 00:10:48,150 Everybody in Japan 263 00:10:48,218 --> 00:10:51,053 is either a ten-year-old girl or a monster. 264 00:10:51,121 --> 00:10:52,855 I don't care about the money, Peter! 265 00:10:52,922 --> 00:10:54,156 I don't care about boxing! 266 00:10:54,224 --> 00:10:56,291 The only reason I did this in the first place 267 00:10:56,359 --> 00:10:58,127 - was 'cause of you! - What do you mean? 268 00:10:58,194 --> 00:11:00,329 Peter, sometimes you're so insensitive, 269 00:11:00,397 --> 00:11:03,465 and you make me so angry, I just want to clock you in the jaw. 270 00:11:03,533 --> 00:11:06,785 Obviously, I can't do that, so boxing was an outlet. 271 00:11:06,853 --> 00:11:10,556 Wait, you mean the reason you fight so good is... 272 00:11:10,623 --> 00:11:13,008 Yeah, 'cause I'm making believe I'm fighting you! 273 00:11:13,076 --> 00:11:16,512 Wow. Am I that much of a bastard? 274 00:11:16,579 --> 00:11:17,946 Sometimes, yes. 275 00:11:18,014 --> 00:11:20,015 Geez, Lois, I'm sorry. 276 00:11:20,083 --> 00:11:22,284 I... I mean, I don't mean to be, 277 00:11:22,352 --> 00:11:23,686 I just... 278 00:11:23,753 --> 00:11:26,288 Look, if you don't want to fight anymore, 279 00:11:26,356 --> 00:11:27,790 you don't have to. 280 00:11:27,857 --> 00:11:29,058 Well, good. 281 00:11:29,125 --> 00:11:31,727 And the truth is, I suppose I kind of got 282 00:11:31,795 --> 00:11:33,629 most of it out of my system anyway. 283 00:11:33,697 --> 00:11:35,631 Oh, I love you, Lois. 284 00:11:35,699 --> 00:11:37,766 I love you, too, Peter. 285 00:11:37,834 --> 00:11:41,286 Is it cool if I tell your insurance that I gave you heart surgery? 286 00:11:44,657 --> 00:11:47,609 Ladies and gentlemen, in honor of her retirement 287 00:11:47,677 --> 00:11:50,829 after seventeen consecutive victories, 288 00:11:50,897 --> 00:11:55,200 I hereby dedicate this statue to Quahog's greatest fighter, 289 00:11:55,268 --> 00:11:57,086 Lois Griffin! 290 00:12:00,890 --> 00:12:03,225 I'm also having a celebratory keg party 291 00:12:03,293 --> 00:12:05,027 back at my house later. 292 00:12:05,095 --> 00:12:08,797 You can tell your parents that my parents will be there. 293 00:12:08,865 --> 00:12:10,733 But they won't be. 294 00:12:12,736 --> 00:12:15,904 And now a few words from Lois Griffin herself. 295 00:12:17,323 --> 00:12:19,158 Thank you so much for coming, everyone, 296 00:12:19,225 --> 00:12:22,644 and thank you for always cheering me on at all my fights. 297 00:12:22,712 --> 00:12:23,679 Hey, Griffin! 298 00:12:25,949 --> 00:12:28,517 - Oh, my God, that's Deirdre Jackson! - Who's that? 299 00:12:28,585 --> 00:12:31,370 Only the deadliest fighter in all of women's boxing. 300 00:12:31,438 --> 00:12:33,572 She's killed three people in the ring. 301 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,457 Her fists are so dangerous, 302 00:12:35,542 --> 00:12:37,593 she's not allowed to be a lesbian. 303 00:12:37,677 --> 00:12:39,027 I know why you're retiring, Griffin! 304 00:12:39,095 --> 00:12:40,062 You're scared! 305 00:12:40,130 --> 00:12:42,030 Scared? Of what? 306 00:12:42,098 --> 00:12:44,383 Of me! Look at these people, giving you a statue 307 00:12:44,451 --> 00:12:45,951 for fighting a bunch of bums! 308 00:12:46,019 --> 00:12:48,771 If you're so great, why don't you prove it? Fight me! 309 00:12:48,838 --> 00:12:50,973 Look, I don't need to prove anything. 310 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,842 I'm retired, and that's the way it's gonna stay. 311 00:12:53,910 --> 00:12:55,110 Oh, yeah? 312 00:12:55,178 --> 00:12:56,645 Hey, man, you want a real woman? 313 00:12:56,713 --> 00:12:58,480 Why don't you bring your pretty little self 314 00:12:58,548 --> 00:12:59,731 over to my apartment tonight, 315 00:12:59,799 --> 00:13:01,033 and I'll show you a real woman. 316 00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:02,935 Oh, I'm ashamed! 317 00:13:03,002 --> 00:13:04,803 Hey, that's my husband you're talking to! 318 00:13:04,871 --> 00:13:06,989 Yeah? Well, what are you gonna do about it? 319 00:13:07,056 --> 00:13:08,123 You gonna fight me? 320 00:13:08,191 --> 00:13:09,324 Look, I already said... 321 00:13:09,392 --> 00:13:10,959 Get down on your hands and knees, fatty! 322 00:13:11,027 --> 00:13:11,894 Yeah! Yes, sir! 323 00:13:14,497 --> 00:13:16,832 Look at me, Griffin... I'm milking me a cow! 324 00:13:16,916 --> 00:13:18,167 Moo for me! 325 00:13:18,251 --> 00:13:19,301 - Moo. - Louder! 326 00:13:19,385 --> 00:13:20,552 - Moo! - Louder! 327 00:13:20,620 --> 00:13:22,137 - Moo...! - Louder! 328 00:13:22,205 --> 00:13:23,639 Moo...! 329 00:13:23,706 --> 00:13:24,890 All right, that's it! 330 00:13:24,957 --> 00:13:26,675 You want a fight, you got one! 331 00:13:26,743 --> 00:13:28,710 Now, you get your hands off my man 332 00:13:28,778 --> 00:13:30,512 before I break 'em off! 333 00:13:32,248 --> 00:13:33,749 (bleep)! It's my parents! 334 00:13:33,817 --> 00:13:35,217 The party's off, everybody! 335 00:13:35,285 --> 00:13:36,685 Get the (bleep) out of here! 336 00:13:43,453 --> 00:13:44,803 Good evening. I'm Tom Tucker. 337 00:13:44,871 --> 00:13:46,705 Coming up next, a boxing match 338 00:13:46,756 --> 00:13:49,207 where the fighters are bleeding before the fight? 339 00:13:49,259 --> 00:13:51,944 We've got exclusive coverage of tonight's women's boxing bout, 340 00:13:52,012 --> 00:13:53,779 Griffin versus Jackson. 341 00:13:53,847 --> 00:13:57,049 We're here live with contender Deirdre Jackson outside her dressing room. 342 00:13:57,100 --> 00:14:00,269 Deirdre, is it true you've killed three women in the ring? 343 00:14:00,337 --> 00:14:01,887 Tonight it's gonna be four. 344 00:14:01,955 --> 00:14:04,607 Are you saying you intend to kill your opponent? 345 00:14:04,691 --> 00:14:08,143 Let's just say you don't want to miss round six. 346 00:14:08,211 --> 00:14:10,429 Lois, you can't go out there! 347 00:14:10,497 --> 00:14:13,098 - What? Why not? - Because if you step into that ring, 348 00:14:13,166 --> 00:14:14,366 she's gonna kill you. 349 00:14:14,434 --> 00:14:15,601 No, she's not, Peter. 350 00:14:15,669 --> 00:14:17,670 What the hell kind of talk is that? 351 00:14:17,737 --> 00:14:19,154 Now, I'm gonna win this thing. 352 00:14:19,222 --> 00:14:21,357 Look, Lois, you don't have to do this for me. 353 00:14:21,424 --> 00:14:22,858 I know I make you mad sometimes, 354 00:14:22,926 --> 00:14:25,194 but I thought we agreed you'd hang up the gloves. 355 00:14:25,262 --> 00:14:28,130 I'll hang up the gloves after I knock her ass out. 356 00:14:28,198 --> 00:14:29,431 Peter, she milked your boobs, 357 00:14:29,499 --> 00:14:32,001 and there were a lot of people I knew there. 358 00:14:32,068 --> 00:14:33,269 Now, let's go. 359 00:14:35,188 --> 00:14:39,091 Butt scratcher! Get your butt scratcher here! 360 00:14:39,159 --> 00:14:40,960 Now, since this is a televised boxing match, 361 00:14:41,027 --> 00:14:42,127 I'm gonna be joined 362 00:14:42,195 --> 00:14:43,929 by a horribly disfigured former fighter 363 00:14:43,997 --> 00:14:46,231 providing barely intelligible commentary throughout. 364 00:14:46,299 --> 00:14:48,100 Any thoughts on the fight, Floyd? 365 00:14:48,151 --> 00:14:50,119 Uh, I... I think that they're... They're gonna have, 366 00:14:50,186 --> 00:14:52,254 They are gonna be fightin' Deirdre's last fight 367 00:14:52,322 --> 00:14:54,139 in the contrast to the later one 368 00:14:54,207 --> 00:14:55,941 is gonna be bet... Better than usually. 369 00:14:56,009 --> 00:14:58,610 And how do you think that helps her chances tonight? 370 00:14:58,678 --> 00:15:02,481 Well, the match lastin' the bout up until the particular inaccuracy, 371 00:15:02,549 --> 00:15:06,285 particular unusually that should be the ultimate determining factor 372 00:15:06,353 --> 00:15:07,820 in about the twelve-round experience, 373 00:15:07,887 --> 00:15:09,655 the heart of a champion margarine hat. 374 00:15:09,723 --> 00:15:11,357 Well, we'll be watching for that. 375 00:15:11,424 --> 00:15:13,592 We'll be checking in with you throughout the night, Floyd. 376 00:15:13,660 --> 00:15:15,094 And happy 23rd birthday. 377 00:15:15,161 --> 00:15:16,228 You're welcome. 378 00:15:18,048 --> 00:15:21,633 Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? 379 00:15:21,701 --> 00:15:23,936 Introducing tonight's fighters. 380 00:15:24,004 --> 00:15:27,906 In this corner, weighing in at 134 pounds, 381 00:15:27,974 --> 00:15:30,659 the top-ranked boxer in all of Rhode Island, 382 00:15:30,744 --> 00:15:33,996 Deirdre "Action" Jackson! 383 00:15:38,935 --> 00:15:42,037 I think every Italian in Quahog is here. 384 00:15:42,105 --> 00:15:43,872 Yeah! Go, white girl! 385 00:15:43,957 --> 00:15:46,775 Hey, yo, you're gettin' your grinder on my grinder! 386 00:15:46,843 --> 00:15:50,946 And in this corner, weighing in at 130 pounds, 387 00:15:51,014 --> 00:15:52,948 it's the Ovarian Barbarian 388 00:15:53,016 --> 00:15:55,517 and the Breast of All Time, 389 00:15:55,585 --> 00:15:58,404 let's put our hands together for Quahog's own... 390 00:15:58,471 --> 00:16:00,356 Lois Griffin! 391 00:16:02,809 --> 00:16:05,010 Okay, here's the rules. 392 00:16:05,078 --> 00:16:07,212 No hitting below the belt, 393 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:10,049 no rabbit punches, no name calling, 394 00:16:10,116 --> 00:16:11,884 no making trouble for unconventional couples 395 00:16:11,951 --> 00:16:14,620 who want to adopt babies, 'cause you know what, 396 00:16:14,687 --> 00:16:16,555 they ain't gettin' the good babies, anyways. 397 00:16:16,623 --> 00:16:18,357 Okay, have a fun fight. 398 00:16:18,425 --> 00:16:19,925 Ding, ding. 399 00:16:23,947 --> 00:16:25,280 You think you're tough? 400 00:16:25,348 --> 00:16:27,082 Well, let's see what you got! 401 00:16:52,442 --> 00:16:54,710 Wow, she's really hitting Mom hard. 402 00:16:54,778 --> 00:16:55,878 Good. 403 00:17:04,621 --> 00:17:06,488 How you feeling, Lois? 404 00:17:06,556 --> 00:17:09,024 She... She's too str... 405 00:17:09,092 --> 00:17:10,876 She's too strong, Joe. 406 00:17:10,944 --> 00:17:13,095 I don't stand a chance out there. 407 00:17:13,179 --> 00:17:15,447 All right, Lois, you listen to me and you listen good. 408 00:17:15,515 --> 00:17:16,915 I held your hand during childbirth, 409 00:17:16,983 --> 00:17:19,485 I watched you raise three kids on a shoestring budget... 410 00:17:19,552 --> 00:17:22,187 you never gave up then, and you're not giving up now! 411 00:17:22,255 --> 00:17:24,056 'Cause you're the toughest woman I've ever met. 412 00:17:24,124 --> 00:17:26,291 And if there was a hall of fame for hearts, 413 00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:29,061 yours would be the biggest one in the whole damn building! 414 00:17:29,129 --> 00:17:30,863 Peter, you're in the wrong corner! 415 00:17:30,930 --> 00:17:32,231 Ah. 416 00:17:32,282 --> 00:17:34,383 All right, Lois, you listen to me and you listen good. 417 00:17:34,451 --> 00:17:35,784 Damn it! 418 00:17:38,688 --> 00:17:40,622 Shut up! 419 00:17:40,690 --> 00:17:42,357 Everybody shut up! 420 00:17:42,425 --> 00:17:44,460 This took a lot of courage! 421 00:17:44,527 --> 00:17:47,062 Well, ladies and gentlemen, here we are at round six... 422 00:17:47,130 --> 00:17:49,531 The round that Deirdre Jackson predicted she'd kill Lois Griffin. 423 00:17:49,599 --> 00:17:52,501 What do you think, Floyd, is she gonna make good on that promise? 424 00:17:52,569 --> 00:17:55,904 A broken promise is a lot like a child's pinwheel. 425 00:17:55,972 --> 00:17:59,541 You have to b... Be yourself, or at least within the confines. 426 00:18:02,111 --> 00:18:04,746 All right, well, let's see what's going on in the ring. 427 00:18:07,817 --> 00:18:09,451 Finish this. 428 00:18:37,213 --> 00:18:38,797 One, two... 429 00:18:40,416 --> 00:18:41,984 Lois, stay down. Don't get up. 430 00:18:42,051 --> 00:18:43,385 You've got nothing to prove. 431 00:18:43,453 --> 00:18:45,604 Five, six... 432 00:18:45,672 --> 00:18:47,739 You get up, you die! 433 00:18:49,275 --> 00:18:51,293 I've had enough of you! 434 00:19:30,083 --> 00:19:31,817 ♪ Risin' up, ♪ 435 00:19:31,884 --> 00:19:34,519 ♪ back on the street. ♪ 436 00:19:34,587 --> 00:19:36,922 ♪ Did my time, took my chances... ♪ 437 00:19:36,990 --> 00:19:38,890 - Oh, get out of here. - Yeah, okay. 438 00:19:51,904 --> 00:19:53,305 You're goin' down, Griffin! 439 00:19:55,074 --> 00:19:57,059 Not tonight, I'm not! 440 00:20:19,198 --> 00:20:20,899 Lois! You did it! 441 00:20:20,967 --> 00:20:22,818 I love you so much! 442 00:20:22,902 --> 00:20:24,553 And the winner is... 443 00:20:24,621 --> 00:20:27,039 Lois Griffin! 444 00:20:27,106 --> 00:20:29,774 Now, if everyone could just pick up two chairs before you leave, 445 00:20:29,826 --> 00:20:31,960 we can get this place cleaned up a lot quicker. 446 00:20:32,028 --> 00:20:33,795 Wow. Well, what do you think, Floyd? 447 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,481 How did Lois Griffin do what no other challenger could do 448 00:20:36,549 --> 00:20:38,050 and knock out Deirdre Jackson? 449 00:20:38,117 --> 00:20:41,269 I... I have a strong headache when I go to sleep and wake up. 450 00:20:41,337 --> 00:20:44,056 And how do you think that's going to affect Jackson's next fight? 451 00:20:44,123 --> 00:20:46,508 My Puerto Rican wife got fat. 452 00:20:52,398 --> 00:20:54,683 Well, I gotta be honest, Lois, I had my doubts, 453 00:20:54,751 --> 00:20:56,818 but you really held your own in that ring. 454 00:20:56,886 --> 00:20:59,688 Thanks, Brian. It was nice to go out a champion. 455 00:20:59,756 --> 00:21:01,390 Well, we're real proud of you, Lois. 456 00:21:01,457 --> 00:21:04,292 And thanks to Deirdre, I even got some of my own milk 457 00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:07,245 to put on my cereal. 458 00:21:07,313 --> 00:21:09,398 Dad, come on! Oh, Peter! Oh, for crying out loud! 459 00:21:09,465 --> 00:21:09,931 What? I'm fun. 460 00:21:10,131 --> 00:21:13,131 == Sync, corrected by elderman == == for www.addic7ed.com ==